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Friday, January 23, 2009

My journey...

Hello! My name is Conni, i am the mother of 2 boys, one is 18 and the other is 10! Patrick is 18 and is "my much wanted received at a later date son" who was once my nephew and 5 years ago "officially" became my son! Lane is my 10 year old who is my miracle baby!

I decided to start this blog, because of all the ups and downs that me and my husband have been through with trying to start a family, losing loved ones and gaining the best things in the world, MY BOY! I have no girls, and "It is good to be Queen"!

Okay, here goes...

My and my dear husband (dh) were marred in 1994 and wanted to immediately begin a family, well, nothing was happening, I thought, hmmm what am i doing wrong (lol) no, really, i wen to the dr and found out that i had massive amounts of scar tissue that was preventing me from getting pregnant which was caused by my appendix rupturing when i was in the 2nd grade, so i was only 21 at this time and was a little concerned about this. We waited and i had surgery to remove the scar tissue and they discovered that i was 8 week pregnant in my tube, they succesfully saved my tube but said they were filled with scar tissue that was like spider webs and for my safety it was not a good idea to try to get pregnant on my own, so, we started the long journey of trying to figure out what our next step was, we became foster parents and enjoyed that, and when i was 23 i was still longing for my own child, so, we talked to an Invitro doctor and he said i was a perfect candidate for IVF, so we decided to go for it full force. I gave myself shots in the stomach for 2 week, dh had to give me a shot in my rump (yeah that was humorous or so dh though so:-(... So, it was time to go back to the dr and get those eggs harvested! Well, who ever said this would be easy LIED! I was laying there on the table, with dh at my side, and they began the procedure, all was done, the dr went to check to see how many eggs were harvested and discovered that there was only one! DID YOU HEAR ME, ONLY ONE! So, as i was laying there in and out with a sedative, my dh said did you hear the dr, they only got one egg, and i said "that is okay, God made me with one egg!" So, 3 days later, the dr called an informed me that the egg was ready to be implanted in my uterus, so here we go again, from that very moment i knew that i was going to be a mommy soon! So, i had to wait 2 weeks to go in and see if i was pregnant, but in my mind, i knew i was, i just didn't tell anyone! So, the two week marker came and i went to the dr with my dh and i peed (don't mean to offend) in the cup and they did the test and it was VERY light, but the dr said it was good enough for him and that i was indeed pregnant! Me and dh cried and the dr took our hands, and prayed with us and blessed our baby that was growing inside of me, and then he did an internal ultra sound and you could see the hearbeating a little light that was flashing in the middle of all of the little cells that were growing to become my little miracle! So, everything went well, i was elated to be pregnant, my dh was elated that I was pregnant, he rubbed my belly with lotion everynight, he bought his own stethascope(sp) and heart monitor and listined to our little baby everynight! We found out the little miracle was a little boy and were so excited, the pregnancy went great, i felt great and we were doing lamaze classes and breast feeding classes and i was 4 1/2 weeks from my due date of June 3rd, well, this little man did not want to wait and so my water brok 4 1/2 weeks early, there was not stopping this little linebacker, basketball guard, pitcher, etc., etc.! HE WAS COMING INTO THIS WORLD A FULL MONTH EARLY! I went to the hospital and my dh looked at me and said "what are we going to do?" and i will never forget my words to him i said "God has brought us this far, he is not going to drop us now"... I was told he would probably go straight to NICU due to lung development being slower in little boys, well, needless to say, his head of course was birthed first and with just his head out he CRIED and my wonderful dr. said "there is nothing wrong with this baby" , i then pushed one more time and my little miracle was here and they layed him on my stomach, he had one eye open and he was the most baby i have ever seen! HE IS MY MIRACLE! He did not have to go to the NICU, he went straight to the newborn nursery. When the dr. handed him to me he looked around the room at all the hospital personell and said "this is a much wanted baby, this is an Invitro baby!" Boy, was i glad i did it, i felt like i could do anything! Well, he was perfectly healthy and TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY! That little miracle is now 10 and full of energy and life, plays sports, and is my heart! Just ask him and he will tell you "i am mom's heart!"

So, me, dh and Lane were tootling along with our life and our nephew now son was always with us, he was just part of our family and Patrick's dad my dh brother got sick and was sick for about 6 years, and we lost him and Patrick came to live with us full time, then we officially adopted him. We did want to have more children, but dh got hurt at work and had to have several back surgerys, so we just figured it wasn't in the cards for us and we were blessed to have Lane, and then we were blessed with Patrick and I am content, i always wanted two, just didn't know if would be this way, but you know what i wouldn't have it any other way.

So, now that Patrick has turned 18, and we are extremely close. Patrick was three when me and dh got married and he has been with me off and on since 1994, i having huge anxiety attacks, meltdowns, crying fits, etc. due to him being 18, graduating from high school, getting ready to go to college and it is KILLING ME! That is okay though, because my testosterone clad men understand that i am the QUEEN and i deserve to have these moments and to be very gentle with me, because again I am the QUEEN! Patrick is very good at consoling me and telling me i am never going to lose him and he will always be my baby, and i think at this point Lane just thinks i am being a baby, but this is HORRIBLE! Do they have medication for this! Just kidding, i will make it! I just want to keep them at home forever... My dh says that is not really what i want, because they will always come back, well, i think about the fact that i really don't go back as much as i want them to come back after they leave... WOW, I am only 35 and feel like i am going through empty nest already!

So, to end my long drawn out story, sorry if i bored you, i am the mother of 2 boys that are both miracle happenings in my life and the wife of one of the most wonderful men in the world and i am so glad that he was born!

I will be posting photos of my miracle boys and my wonderful husband, and oh me too soon!

PS Pray for little Harper who was born last week and is in the hospital in Tulsa, i ready her mommy Kelly's blog and they are in such need of that miracle working power that God has provided to me and dh so many times over the past 14, almost 15 in June years!~~

Love,
Conni